Tuesday, 5 July 2011

Last minute freakout?

I'll admit it: I'm nervous. Perhaps not conciously anxious, but I have found myself feeling the ups and downs of raw emotion over the past 24 hours. Emotional about saying goodbye to people I see everyday but won't see for weeks, emotional about registering that my face will actually be different, emotional that my face is actually very horrific from the side which I somehow never fully realised (do not, do not look at my camera. The photos will shock), and emotionally sensitive at any little thing. Shout at me right now and run the risk of me bursting into tears. Don't ask why because I don't think I know!

It's a very surreal feeling and the only thing I could think about was to write about it. It's personal, but somehow I feel that I shouldn't be keeping it to myself. I think I'm aware and ready and prepared for the actual surgery part, by pre-op nerves must be messing with my head right now. I've packed my overnight bags, debated over what I consider to be "comfortable clothing", eaten as much as I can whilst I can, and watched 3 episodes of Friends to distract myself. You could say it's been an eventful day.

Tomorrow, however, will be a zillion times more eventful! A five o'clock wake up call probably means I should head off now, and don't expect to hear from me for a while (for uh, obvious reasons). I am sure that everything will be fine though; this marks the start of a new part of my life so why don't we catch up later so you can share it with me?

Ps. FYI...Not. Freaking. Out.


  1. The first week is the hardest. You will get through!

  2. You will get through it. Stephanie is correct, the first week is the hardest, but with good support you will survive. Best of luck sending you lots of healing and courage!!